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Ask Marney Column by Marney Makridakis Do you have any ideas for how to deal with criticsm? Someone who saw my Web site sent me a very harsh and critical email and it has really been disheartening. Any ideas? Dear Reader: The first thing I have to say is something you’ve heard over and over again: you can’t please everyone. If you are doing something that reaches a lot of people, it is mathematically impossible for everyone to like what you are doing. When someone tells me that they got their first "nasty email" about something they’ve "put out there", I tell them "CONGRATULATIONS! This means you have a wide reach! Good for you!" Truly, if someone puts themselves out there in the form of writing, art, a Web site, or business, and has NEVER received an email that was tough to swallow -- it means that their audience is not reaching very far, in volume, demographic, or both. This is especially true if your work involves going out on a limb, taking risks, or presenting "controversial" viewpoints. I really believe this -- it’s a mathematical certainty! In the days of email, it’s very easy for people to quickly rattle off what they are thinking, without doing much editing before sending. It’s also easy to misunderstand what someone is saying, without the benefit of body language, inflection, etc. My advice: first, look at the words objectively, taking away any of the "charged" language. Ask yourself, "Is there anything in this that I need to know, that will help me and my mission?" If the answer is yes, then you can figure out ways to incorporate the new shifts. If the answer is no, let it go...and congratulate yourself for reaching beyond an audience who automatically adores you. There are folks who need you out there! Reaching out can be risky, but it's worth it! -Marney back to Index |